2. Life, Time, and Uncertainty

What is the thing that we, humans always ask for? Time. can we have more times to finish this paper? Wait, I need more time to get there.  And so on. The thing is, what I recently aware of, the amount of time given is enough. Enough that it becomes too much. Too much to handle, that I wish it could fast-forward. By the time you read this, you may already knew what I am referring to. Yes. The confinement we are or were in right now. What a period of time to live in! Now that I have all the time that I (unconsciously) asked for, I feel uneasy. overwhelm. numb at last.  

In this period of life, I truly can relate that life is absurd. Nothing is certain in our life except death. When all of this will be over? Will I have a proper graduation ceremony? Will I get a job in this situation? We throw ourselves to a routine to at least give a meaning into our nonsense life. Yes, I truly can relate. It is us that could decide what is the meaning of our life. Some days, I just couldn't get out of bed. Knowing that I had full control of my life, but I chose not to control it. Just let my emotions took control. Sad, anger, and disappoint. Some days, I finally had the energy to take control of my life. I was excited and all to give the meaning of the meaningless. But then, one day I shut down. Today is one of the day. Today, I wake up quite early, and ask myself "what is te point of I wake up early?". I could not give the answer. I started the day not feeling angry nor sad. Just live. But sometimes that is enough. 

All I have is time. I did everything I could. Studying, watching, reading, playing games. But it is too much. What ungrateful human I am. I'm trying not to. Well, if you read this nonsense I hope you all have a good day and health.